Monday, May 26, 2008

Weekly Gripe #1

The Weekly Gripe
Sterling, MA

Hello Friends and Foes,

Allow me to introduce the Weekly Gripe. I decided just now that I should be allowed to have my gripes broadcasted, so I invented this feature of Bachelor Diner. It's called the Weekly Gripe because it sounds like I will be practicing some sort of self-restraint in posting these gripes, but the reality will be that they shall occur whenever the Gripe Is Ripe. Maybe I will change the name to "The Gripe is Ripe"...

So this Weekly Gripe is about an old conniving curmudgeon and his best friend. The 'mudgeon is our current president and his pal is that loser, John "Brick-Face" McCain. I was reading about this great-sounding GI Bill that is about to be passed by the Senate and has already been passed by an un-vetoable margin in the House. It is the best GI bill since the first, probably. It offers to veterans, among other well-deserved benefits, free tuition to a four-year public university. I think that this is limited to those who have served at least three years since 9/11. Still, that is a great many servicemen who have seen their post-duty options dwindle during those long months waiting to come home. For many, I'm sure that once they have returned home opportunities for a rewarding future have slipped away.

As you may be able to tell, the gripe isn't about this bill. It's about the boneheadedness that those two dusty burdens on society have exhibited as they went about preaching and whining about the GENEROSITY of this bill. One of the excuses they gave was that they were afraid it would deter re-enlistment. First of all, a reality check. You, sirs, have already done more than any vote in congress could ever do to deter enlistment and re-enlistment. If anything, this new bill offers more hope to increase enlistment than anything you may have tried because it offers real incentives. By systematically succeeding at making awful decisions during the execution of this conflict and, moreover, deciding to start this fight in the first place you have set a new precedent for poor leadership. Now, telling veterans essentially that they don't deserve this "gift" from the government, you have set an even greater precedent that I expect our subsequent executives will have a very hard time attaining.

Here's the juice - this isn't a gift. Those entering into the military owe you nothing. You and the rest of your cronies are in debt. You owe the American public a number of outstanding debts, but you owe the soldiers you have betrayed time and again respect and gratitude. Be thankful they went along with you on this half-assed nutjob adventure in the first place and also be thankful that more of them don't realize how much you've been screwing them.

This whole thing reeks of diabolism. Why don't you just come out and say that you don't like this bill because it offers a graceful exit from the arachnoid trap of military service that your administration has been weaving? Another way to read this: your impotence has left the bedroom and so now we have little to fear from you in the way of further destruction of our institutions and ideals. If that's true, then perhaps we are seeing the first sign of self-repair coming from the government with this mediocre nod in the direction integrity.

Happy Memorial Day
Now playing: Bob Dylan - Visions Of Johanna

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Behind the Scenes at Bachelor Diner

5:00pm 5/22/08
Le Cirque du Traci -

Hello team! Thought I might make some time to present a little feature to the blog I like to call le GranTour. This is for people who really want to keep up to date with the shifting dynamics of the Bachelor Diner premises and cohort, etc. Things have changed a lot since we moved in last August and now I am preparing to leave for summer employment back home.

Le Cirque du Traci will continue to be a very important part of my life, and I thought I might like to document it so that my children will see the squalor I lived in as a young college student. This photoset is intended to show you readers who can only think of possums, Judas, Rock Band, and throwing up in the Tercel when considering what is Tracy Circle another side of our life here.

Some improvements have been made, mostly so that the ladies will have a comfortable summer cottagemove in to. You will see some of these as well as some continuing "issues". I do not claim to have made any improvements myself.

First, here is a shot of the basil/jalapeno garden. It has been raining for days.
Next a few of the kitchen/ dining room areas.

Much more to come later!

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Fish-a-stick Sand-a-wich

Hey Blogosphere, haven't seen your 'round lately!

Entre le Sandwich de Poisson Baton avec sauce. If one took to perusing the annals of time as oft as I during my nightly self-improvement sessions, one would begin to cultivate as bountiful a knowledge of the fish stick sandwich so common to the plates of kings and knaves alike. Traditionally a dish of the Canadian Maritimes, this plate no longer knows international boundaries. Shown is the commonest outfit (minus cheddar cheese), but any exotic dressing may suit it well.

Slathered in vegetables, tartar sauce and tomato catsup and with a side of greens or beta carotenes, one may wonder why he or she ever issued a disapproving smirk at the prospect of ingesting such a meal (that be for you, girlfriend). Truly a dish for anytime, anyplace, in any state of undress, for any person - Emperor and fisher-prince alike.

Like I said, couples well with greens, a cucumber salad, and orange vegetables. Covers well with red tomato sauces (marinara included) or traditional fish-type sauces and fresh veggies, and it's always served crunchy (all parts).

Pairs well with english-style ales, esp. IPA's. Serve her with a dry stout and a side of the sea vegetable dulse for an Irish spin anyone will enjoy. Black label is a fair drink substitute for penny pinchers. Milk and apple juice work too.

Good literature pairings are books about big theories and such.
Now playing: Dolly McMahon - Love Is Teasing

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Welcome To Bachelor Diner

You heard it right folks! Bachelor Diner is officially ON-LINE. We are also almost officially ready to shovel shovelfuls of our glorious food into your impatiently slobbering maws! Just a couple more renovations to make to the shooting range, ball pit, and vomitorium. Until then, feast your eyes upon the officially first menu item to be offered at Bachelor Diner: The Canadian Dinner.

Everyone knows how important "Kraft Dinner" is to Canada, it being the official dinner of the Montreal Canadiens, the dinner served at the Charlottetown Conference for the confederation, and also being an old home remedy for those suffering "Crown Royal Headaches".

We offer you our faithful reproduction of the dinner often referred to as the Mother of Canada. Our version gives the diner a couple options on the standard cheese-only kraft dinner. We offer a
meat selection, including but not limited to Hamburger, Hot Dog, BBQ chikan, Tuna, and for vegetables - onion, asparagus, broccoli, spinach, peas, etc. Sides of ketchup are standard, but other sides are available including BBQ sauce and Sriracha.

Beverage pairings are a dry Red Wine, Black Velvet, Moosehead, Alexander Keith's, or milk.

Here is the tuna option showing ingredients et cetera

For $6.00 you will be filled not only with food but also with an urge to
"stand on guard for thee!"